(A) Integrity In A Relationship

Here is the theme and the statement of the day:  In order for any relationship to work and have any lasting prospect of existence what it must have first and foremost is INTEGRITY.

So, what is this thing we call integrity? We use the word usually in relationship with others, like politicians, business people, and such. We can say when ‘those people’ have no integrity. How often do we think about and consider our own integrity? Do we know when we are in integrity and when we are not?

In the context of who we are in our relationships there are at least three levels of integrity to consider:

1. Obey the rules. This means the rules that you implicitly or explicitly agreed to keep. Like from “always wipe your shoes before you enter the house” and “ you stop at the stop sign” to “we do not call each other names” and everything you can possibly think of in between.
2. Keep your word. This means keeping your promises and honoring your word as you would honor yourself as well as honoring what others expect you to do and doing what you know that you should do even if you did not say you would do it. (Well, you may want to read this one again.)
3. Be consistent with who you say you are or who you want others to regard you to be. If you are a spouse, be a good one and the one you are expected to be. People expect you to be certain way and do, or not do certainn things. It is a matter of integrity to meet their expectations.

Without integrity NOTHING works. The meaning of the word ‘integrity’ is ‘whole and complete.’ If it is out of integrity it means it is dis-integrated, therefore it cannot work. So what has this got to do with us? You may even say if we disintegrate we die. Well, not so drastic, anyway. Our body is intact but our character and who we are perceived to be, therefore our success in any undertaking including relationships is at stake. I hope you get the point.

Awareness exercise: Pay attention to:
-How often you break rules even if no one notices it.
-How often you break your promises no matter how small on insignificant they are.
-How often you are not at your best in any role you assigned yourself to be.
-How often you do not fulfill another’s expectations.
Try to be 100% (and no less) in integrity for any amount of time. Notice if anything changes.

Please share your experiances with us.
Also, please feel fre to ask any questions as well.

Thank you


The Relationship Saver